Wednesday
Jun252008
Social groups effect my goals
Wednesday, June 25, 2008 at 9:16AM
I've noticed that my priorities shift depending on who it is I'm hanging out with at the time. It makes sense really, as everyone judges themselves based on their peer group and if you find you're not measuring up, you'll want to improve. The interesting extension of this is that it makes me sorta question how important these goals and subsequent accomplishments are if they are based so much on those around me.
by Paul Watson
I'll give you some examples. If I hang out with my buddies from high school and their friends, exercise becomes more of my focus. With Joey, it was all about education and philosophy, I wanted to read more and go back to school. With John and his friends, it tends to be more sci-fi and electronics, buy computers and talk about space flight. With internet friends its blogging and photography. With Steph it's about inside jokes and drinking (are those goals?). With work people it's programming and XBOX (we're getting farther from goals here).
by static416
All of these things seem proportionally important to me depending on how much time I spend with these people. They all come from certain parts of my personality, so I own them to some degree. But if they shift so largely in importance, they can't be that important, can they?
by margolove
So does anybody really choose their own paths then? I mean sure, you make the choice between Engineering or Architecture, but you knew you were going to be taking a job-training sort of applied science because that's what your parents thought was important. You've really only chosen between two relatively similar paths and even those two options were dictated by others. And not going to university was never even considered because of the social class you are in.
by pierofix
People pride themselves on the choices they make in life and denigrate others for making the wrong ones. But I think that it's very difficult to say with any certainty that you really are solely responsible for where you are in life. If you'd had a slightly different family, different friends, or a different cultural context you may be homeless instead of driving a Maserati to your corporate lawyer job and you might still have a similar personality. I guess it's not that I think there is no free will at all. It's just that I think that whatever free will we have is a very minor influence compared to the effects of biology and social context.
by A.J.R
by Paul Watson
I'll give you some examples. If I hang out with my buddies from high school and their friends, exercise becomes more of my focus. With Joey, it was all about education and philosophy, I wanted to read more and go back to school. With John and his friends, it tends to be more sci-fi and electronics, buy computers and talk about space flight. With internet friends its blogging and photography. With Steph it's about inside jokes and drinking (are those goals?). With work people it's programming and XBOX (we're getting farther from goals here).
by static416
All of these things seem proportionally important to me depending on how much time I spend with these people. They all come from certain parts of my personality, so I own them to some degree. But if they shift so largely in importance, they can't be that important, can they?
by margolove
So does anybody really choose their own paths then? I mean sure, you make the choice between Engineering or Architecture, but you knew you were going to be taking a job-training sort of applied science because that's what your parents thought was important. You've really only chosen between two relatively similar paths and even those two options were dictated by others. And not going to university was never even considered because of the social class you are in.
by pierofix
People pride themselves on the choices they make in life and denigrate others for making the wrong ones. But I think that it's very difficult to say with any certainty that you really are solely responsible for where you are in life. If you'd had a slightly different family, different friends, or a different cultural context you may be homeless instead of driving a Maserati to your corporate lawyer job and you might still have a similar personality. I guess it's not that I think there is no free will at all. It's just that I think that whatever free will we have is a very minor influence compared to the effects of biology and social context.
by A.J.R
Reader Comments (4)
What about the choice of who to hang around?
Again, I'd say that that is based mostly on biology and social context.
You like certain people because they have similar views as you (cultural context) or you find them attractive in some way (biological/societal, not necessarily sexual).
I don't think anyone would argue that you can't really choose who you are attracted to, or who you get along with. It just happens.
You've got a lot of friends. They have different interests. Your interests are shaped by theirs. BUT: as you mentioned you decide which friends you make. More importanly, you decide which friends you keep. Why do you keep certain friends over others? Cause you have your own individual personality, character, self. Individuals are more than just a sum of parts. Otherwise we'd be way more similar than we are.
While interesting, your post is a way of getting off easy. Meh my interests change, so they can't be that important. So - I get to sit on my butt. Quite convenient. But, quite lame at the same time. You have to add meaning, you need to exert some agency. Sitting back and waiting for it to happen is reversing the order.
You are not that powerless or helpless, unless you choose to be a passive bystander. But not everyone is.
But I'm not saying that anyone is passive, or that people are identical.
I'm saying that people may believe they are choosing their own path based on their personality, but while their personality may be unique, it is still a product of their experiences and biology and is not chosen.
By extension your choices follow fairly closely from your personality. While you may have different options throughout your life, your personality (which is not chosen and subject to your current situation) will only allow for a very narrow range of choices.