Wednesday
May282008
Things that bother me....
Wednesday, May 28, 2008 at 12:51PM People I just barely know
You aren't directly my friend, you are a friend of a friend, and you are probably very nice people. But chances are I can't remember your name, what you do, or even necessarily where I know you from. Luckily I'm usually observant enough to notice you first and take some kind of evasive action.
by dev null
I'll take another elevator, switch sides of the road, duck into a store, exit the subway early, turn and walk in the opposite direction, or pretend to read something. Anything to avoid the awkward confrontation that will inevitably occur if we happen to make eye contact, or in some cases, if you see me at all.
by Sam Judson
Again, it's not that I don't like you, it's not that you smell funny, and usually, it's not that I'm even busy or anything. It's just that I want to save both of us the embarrassment of dealing with the fact that I have no idea how I know you, who you are, or what I should be talking to you about. Nothing personal. If you still want to take the chance, then I can live with that, just don't be mad when I don't remember your cats name.
by Condimentasm
Mushrooms
They are a fungus, they grow in almost 100% manure, and they taste bad. That's it.
by mrwangkai
Watch my purse
Oh really? This purse? The one immediately beside me that I'm practically sitting on? The one that is so large that is practically a softened suitcase? I should watch it?
by Fenchurch!
Well thank goodness you mentioned something because otherwise I was just going to let one of the hundreds of predatory purse-snatchers in this Starbucks just come up and take it without me noticing or making any sort of fuss. But now that I know you would NOT like it stolen, I'll be sure to prevent that from happening.
Slow and oblivious
I strive to be as quick and unobtrusive as humanly possible in everything I do. You are not only slow and in the way, but oblivious to it as well. On the road you choose to drive on city streets at, but usually below, the speed limit, usually on weekends, who may or may not even know where it is they are going.
by macwagen
On the sidewalk you saunter down the middle, changing direction slightly at random enough intervals that passing you is difficult or at least hazardous. In groups you can manage to completely block a pedestrian route while you "walk and talk" though it's always more the later than the former.
by auer1816
At work you take three times as long, and ask six times as many questions in order to accomplish the same menial task as anyone else in the building.
by Pete Baer
IM spelling Nazi
You know what I'm saying, I know what I'm saying, the spelling doesn't need to be perfect. It's IM, not a dissertation (yes I had to spell check that).
by Professor Rogers
Overly specific tastes
You want a small, triple shot, low fat, half whip, hazelnut, 1/4-mocca, 3/4 latte, in a large cup, to go, with chocolate sprinkles, and leave the bag in?
by CoffeeGeek
How about the Big Mac with extra special sauce, no ketchup, 3 onions pieces, 1 slice of cheese, only lettuce on the top half, a small diet coke with no ice, and a baked potato?
by Simon Miller
Maybe you'd rather have the terayaki steak, half medium-well done, half blue-medium done, no pepper, not too spicy because you don't like hot food, extra croutons in the salad, not too much dressing, and the steamed vegetables. But no carrots. Because you don't like carrots.
by .kaishin.
OR YOU COULD TRY JUST ORDERING WHAT'S ON THE MENU.
Cheapness
We ordered the exact same meal and drinks. The bill is $35. I throw in a $21 in manner that clearly shows that I don't intend to ask for change. I see you leaf past the twenty dollar bill in your wallet and instead take out a five and a ten. Then after thinking, you throw in another two dollars and hand it to the waitress. Why?
by massdistraction
Being late
I am rarely, if ever, late for things. If it's important, like a job interview, I will actually be 30-60 minutes early depending on the distance I have to go, and the variables involved. Then I'll wait till it's only about 2-5 minutes early and walk in.
by Csaba_Bajko
I realize it's just dinner or drinks, but being an hour and half late is not acceptable. Especially when you don't call me until 15 minutes ahead of time and tell me "it will be a little while". Or worse yet, you call every 30 minutes to tell me it will be another 40 minutes. I managed to get here on time, or at least knew when I'd be showing up. How can you be so bad with time-management that you can't even estimate your arrival to within a 1.5 hour window?
by sarmax
Lists
A large portion of everything on Digg, Cracked, or Stumbleupon these days is a list of some kind or another. Are people so desperate for a quick-fix-content on the internet these days that they cannot take the time to create or read something that is not in itemized, categorized, and broken into easily digestible bits? Apparently not.
by Seven Morris
Reader Comments (4)
This is a great entry, although I'm one of those people you barely know.
I've taken to being quite frank in those awkward encounters and stating that I'd like to go back to my music after a brief hello.
Thanks man, and I'd stop and talk to you. Your my biggest (only) fan, how could I not?
It's good that you're focusing on the really important things in life in this post, I mean think of how amazing the world would be if people used less lists, drove faster, didnt talk to each other while working and just ran by in single file on the sidewalk.... worthy of a science fiction utopic fiction me thinks.
although..i think i'd also like to live on a planet where everyone is on time. all the time. every time. i mean, who does that 1.5 hour thing? those people don't actually exist, right? you were just making up some ridiculously high maintenance girl as an ideal type to illustrate your point?
Joey, I will respond to your comment in post-form, because there's enough there to warrant a rant. The first part anyways.
The second part is actually not only you, but many other people as well. You aren't the only one with the tardiness gene.