Tuesday
Dec232008
Getting sucked into the life you don't want
Tuesday, December 23, 2008 at 2:01PM
As time goes by, I'm finding it harder and harder to ensure that I'm following my own goals, rather than the expectations set out for me as a consequence of living in this society. I occasionally compare myself to my coworkers or family, and then, when I find myself lacking, I strive to get what they have. But in those times I've forgotten that they are not the sort of people that I want to be.
by josephp
They are not bad people at all, just not what I want to be. I'll describe them for you. Firstly, they are all engineers, male, and over the age of 30. Almost all are married or in committed relationships, and those who aren't are nerds who have probably not seen a woman naked in quite a long time.
The ones that I talk to frequently tend to be very focused on making as much money as possible, as quickly as possible, so they can buy a bigger TV for their house in Oakville, Richmond Hill, or some other commuter suburb of Toronto.
by Carnotzet
Their life plan was get degree, get a job, marry the girl you are dating at 28, and get a house in the suburbs. Have kids at 30, work like crazy to retire at 55. Then golf till you die.
These are not inherently bad goals, they are just not my goals. But because they occupy so much of my life that their mentality bleeds into mine occasionally.
I constantly have to reanalyze what it is I'm stressing out about and whether or not it's worth it in light of MY goals, not theirs. I literally spent a couple days worrying about the fact that I don't have a stock portfolio before realizing that I don't give a shit about having a stock portfolio. I mulled over getting an MBA instead of an arts-PhD until I remembered I hate business people and I want to write, not work in a cubicle.
by static416
I'm going to spend the next 8-12 months minimizing my expenses and paying off my debts. Then I want to go back to school to learn things I'm interested in, doing only enough software development to keep my condo paid for and food on my table.
Can't get into a PhD program? I'll keep taking classes and doing my own research if necessary but I'm not giving on intellectual pursuits because it can't be sanctioned by an institution. I don't want to get married. I don't want to have kids. I don't want to move to the suburbs. No nuclear family, no maximizing my RRSP contributions. At least not for as far as I can see into the future.
by Quasimondo
Right now my dream would be to write and learn new things during the day, then solve the world's problems over some drinks with friends at night. To those that read this blog this post may seem repetitive, rehashing what I've already said. But if I don't keep reminding myself of what is really important to me I'll get sucked into the life that I don't want and won't be happy with.
I start my class in 2.5 weeks. I can't wait.
by Jōsé
by josephp
They are not bad people at all, just not what I want to be. I'll describe them for you. Firstly, they are all engineers, male, and over the age of 30. Almost all are married or in committed relationships, and those who aren't are nerds who have probably not seen a woman naked in quite a long time.
The ones that I talk to frequently tend to be very focused on making as much money as possible, as quickly as possible, so they can buy a bigger TV for their house in Oakville, Richmond Hill, or some other commuter suburb of Toronto.
by Carnotzet
Their life plan was get degree, get a job, marry the girl you are dating at 28, and get a house in the suburbs. Have kids at 30, work like crazy to retire at 55. Then golf till you die.
These are not inherently bad goals, they are just not my goals. But because they occupy so much of my life that their mentality bleeds into mine occasionally.
I constantly have to reanalyze what it is I'm stressing out about and whether or not it's worth it in light of MY goals, not theirs. I literally spent a couple days worrying about the fact that I don't have a stock portfolio before realizing that I don't give a shit about having a stock portfolio. I mulled over getting an MBA instead of an arts-PhD until I remembered I hate business people and I want to write, not work in a cubicle.
by static416
I'm going to spend the next 8-12 months minimizing my expenses and paying off my debts. Then I want to go back to school to learn things I'm interested in, doing only enough software development to keep my condo paid for and food on my table.
Can't get into a PhD program? I'll keep taking classes and doing my own research if necessary but I'm not giving on intellectual pursuits because it can't be sanctioned by an institution. I don't want to get married. I don't want to have kids. I don't want to move to the suburbs. No nuclear family, no maximizing my RRSP contributions. At least not for as far as I can see into the future.
by Quasimondo
Right now my dream would be to write and learn new things during the day, then solve the world's problems over some drinks with friends at night. To those that read this blog this post may seem repetitive, rehashing what I've already said. But if I don't keep reminding myself of what is really important to me I'll get sucked into the life that I don't want and won't be happy with.
I start my class in 2.5 weeks. I can't wait.
by Jōsé
tagged Rant, eric hacke, goals, life, nuclear family, phd, school, suburbs in Rant
Rant, eric hacke, goals, life, nuclear family, phd, school, suburbs in Rant 
Reader Comments (1)
I do the same thing all the time. Its nice to hear I'm not the only one with those goals. Keep fighting the fight Eric!!